Just A Love Letter For You.

"I'm alive but I'm losing all my drive cause everything we've been through and everything about you seemed to be a lie, a guiltless twisted lie. It made me learn to hate you or hate myself for letting it pass by."

I badly want to express my feelings to you. I want you to know that i'm inlove w you. so badly. But the feelings, dont you think its lacking? Its weakening each day I wake up. Maybe its because how you talk to me, how you treat me, etc. Its just different already. And maybe that's the reason why I think, i'm starting to love you less.

I'm not giving up on us. That's just impossible. Maybe its you giving up on me. The distance is keeping us apart. We're too young to handle Long Distance Relationships. It just turns into Long Distance Relationshit.

But I want you to know, you're the most amazing, most patient guy ever. And to be honest, you were the longest i've had. Although we're not "official" yet. The first month with you was amazing. You're the only story I share w my cousins, with anyone infact. But, I realised, the longer we got, the less feelings you had for me. (According to me). But I can't judge, because I never had the strength to ask you that.

Maybe i'm the one who has the right to be called a pussy. I'm too scared to end us, i'm too scared to tell you how I feel, i'm too scared of almost everything. And most importantly, I am still afraid to lose you. But although the distance is keeping us apart, I just wished we could be strong for each other.

Maybe you're ashamed of me because your friends may not like me. Maybe, we cant go "public" or "official" because you're just ashamed. Like, yeaah. You dont have the courage to fight for me. MAYBE. i'm just sick and tired of thinking all these odd things about you and me. And it sucks that it has to be like this.

I still love you too much. But I can't stand seeing you caring for someone else's life more than mine. She maybe your "bestfriend" but, you're lucky that I dont go all "inboxing" my guy bestfriends right? But, I was too strong and ignored everything and went all "okay" about it. Although it hurts me too much. But, I never told you how badly it hurts when you wall her more than me. OKAY, whatthehell right? I don't want to get affected by that shizniz. WALLS aren't the reasons why i'm fucked up anyway. SO YEAH.

One more thing, to be honest, i've flirted back with other guys, but I swore, I never cheated on you. Being loyal to you, is one of the stupidest thing in my life.

Many girls are after you, but I just wonder, will you still choose me if someone who looks like Megan Foxx, who wears tudong or whatsoever? No. I could tell.

But i'm missing in action for now, just to get my mind off things.

I love you, Dh.
Just, trust me.
I just wished you would understand.